My name is Durodoluwa, which interpreted means “wait unto the Lord”. All my life, I have disliked this name because the notion of waiting completely goes against my personality. I tend to be a direct and impulsive person. I make fast decisions and prefer to run with an idea, rather than to walk and mull things over. Ironically in my language Duro has a double meaning. Duro also means, “wait” or ”stop”. I don’t like waiting and I don’t like to be stoped. I have asked my father on a number of occasions “why did you give me this name, why couldn’t you have named me “Go” instead of Stop? Why do I have to wait all the time?
In my younger years I thought of my name Duro as more of a curse than a blessing, and I resented it. Now, the more mature me has learned that it is only in the “waiting” that we can renew our strength! The journey of life is long and treacherous and we need all the strength that comes from waiting and resting in God! As a father, I have chosen not to weight down my three sons with such burdensome names. I named them David, James, and Daniel. Names that are more palatable for the western tongue. I am sure that my sons are grateful for their simple biblical names. After the heartbreaking devastating lost of my middle son James, the only thing that I can do is to wait. I wait until that wonderful day when God shall wipe away every tear from my eye. I will continue to wait until that glorious day when we shall be reunited again! It is a long wait for a loving father to endure. But I rest in the hope and in the knowledge that we shall spend eternity together!
It is my firm belief that you should pray not for a job, but that God will give you your “life’s work”, there is a difference! You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you are made for a specific purpose. Your life’s work, is a work that only you can do, it is a call, that only you can answer, it is a contribution, that only you can make, and it is a victory that only you can win for yourself, and for humanity.
I hope that as you begin to prayerfully search out your gifts and your talents, God, the creator, or whatever you call Him will begin to reveal to your spirit who you are and what you are here on earth to accomplish. Seek out your true purpose of existence. Your desire is not a job, it to impact destiny.
His mercy endureth forever? After the devastating death of my son James to what we believed was foul play, but the police stated was suicide. I could not see, feel or find the mercy of God! Within weeks of James death two boys in his high school committed suicide. The community was in shock and we wondered where is God and why did He allow this great evil to happen to our family and to our community? Again, the mercy of God was not in sight, only pain, deep sorrow, confusion, and hopelessness. A year later my older brother died after fighting a thirty years battle with drug abuse. A year after that my Grandmother died. A short time after that, my aunt died. The goodness of God and the mercy of God were by this point thrown out the window of my life. At least that was I thought. If this was God’s “mercy” I wanted nothing to do with this God. I had no joy and I felt no mercy, only rage and pain. I saw no light, only dark clouds and raining days.
To treat and to ease the sting of death I turned to worldly pleasures. Needless to say worldly pleasure are mere bandages on a patient that needs a heart transplant. The pain was still there, crushing my heart with each passing day like an elephant crushing the flower beneath its massive foot. However joy was nowhere to be found, misery and anger and anguish were my constant companions. I was traveling on the wide road of despair with no hope of any specific destination and no elixir to lighten my burdensome load.
With the passing of time, the dark clouds of my life begin to slowly break. I observed the patience and the protection of God during those times when I was in darkness. I discovered that even when I denied Him with my thoughts and actions, He (God) cannot deny himself, but remains faithful still. I discovered that God does not deal with us, as He should but rather as a loving father deals with his children. God disciplines and teaches as hard lesson of life and He uses our lives for his divine purposes. Lastly I discovered that after the rain comes the rainbow, and that his mercy endures forever! I discovered that pain and sorrow might endure through the night, but Joy cometh in the morning!
Within a span of three years, I lost my son James, my brother Bamise, my grandmother Mary and my Aunty Keyinde. All these deaths came in cruel successions. My son’s death was my first experience of the devastating sting death and the pain of losing a loved one. How could a loving God allow this to happen to me? Why didn’t God just punish and discipline me? Why did He have to kill my son? These were the predominant questions on my mind.
I cannot deny that there is a God, because everything around me screams of His existence. I could not conveniently adopt a new belief that there was no God and that life was just a mere cosmic accident. My car irrefutably proves to me the existence of a carmaker. Likewise, when I look at the world around me, the stars and the moon all points to an intelligent designer who made it all. I am forced to believe in the existence of God. Nevertheless, I didn’t have to believe in His goodness anymore. Out of anger, I decided that the only way to get back at God who was responsible for my loss was to live a disobedient life. I wanted to hurt God as he had hurt me. Therefore, I stopped going to church and I stop serving God. I had completely given up on God, on life and on myself. Death had infected my heart with a sense of hopelessness that I thought I would never recover from.
While laying in the ashes heap of despair, with no peace and no hope. The same God that I was trying retaliate against kept a tiny ember of hope burning in my hardened heart. It was an ember of the undeniable truth that God is love, and in Him, there is no darkness. While I stand in the darkness of the pain of loss, it is very hard to gain an understanding of why a loving God would allow such hurt into my life? Why did God allow my wife and children to suffer like this? And yet, in my multitude of questioning this ember of truth continues to burn brighter and brighter. The brighter it burns, the more it reveals to me the love of God. Only God is powerful enough to keep me from losing my mind during these dark years. His mercy and grace continued to sustain me, even while I was in my state of anger and rebellion. There are still many questions and many things that I don’t understand? But I have enough light now to see that in front of me, there are choices to be made. I can give up or keep going. I have felt the horrible pain of loss, but I don’t have to feel the agony of defeat! You too may be feeling horrible pain of loss, but you don’t have to feel the agony of defeat, keep going!
Why does a God allow suffering? Like the billions of people who have sojourned through life on planet earth, I too am baffled by this question. The answer to why suffering exists is illusive. We make three distinct assumptions when we ask this question. We rightly assume that there is a God, a “logical designer.” Second, we assume that this God is good. Lastly, we assume that He allows our sufferings. I wonder if we are asking the right questions? The first two assumptions seem logical to me but the last is suspect. Without the full understanding of the universe and its conflicting dynamic powers, we have only half of the picture. We see only darkly. It is as if we are looking at the world through very dark glass. Therefore it would be problematic and ignorant of us to make the assumption that God “allows” suffering.
However theologizing brings little to no comfort to those who are going through immense suffering. If you are going through difficulties like divorce, or if you battling a disease like cancer or your children are in trouble, or you lost your job, or you are homeless, or you’re loved one dies life can look very dark and gloomy. Your suffering is unique to you. There is no scale that determines which type of suffering is the worst in life. Everyone person feels that their suffering is the worst. None of us is exempt from experiencing sufferings. However, all of us have the power and the choice to comfort others while they are going through their specific kind of suffering. We have the choice to continue to ask “why,” or we can choose to ask “who”. Whom can I help today? Who’s burden can I lessen today? Who can I comfort and encourage today? The change in question changes our perspective, and it has the power to change our world!
I have worked hard all my life and continue to do so. I believe that doing your “life’s work” which is the work that you have been sent here to do is a blessing from God. I believe that when you are doing someone else’s work called a “Job” it can be a curse if you are not pursuing your dreams and purpose at the same time. Work meant for someone else will never satisfy your soul and will become drudgery instead of a delight. Your life work, regardless of income, benefits, or status will put a pep in your step, a joy in your heart, and a melody on your lips. This is because your life’s work gives you meaning for living. Out of this meaningful living comes your unique contribution to humanity. It is a contribution that only you can make!
Sadly today many people are not doing their life’s work and have gotten off of the narrow road of chasing a mission unto the wide road of chasing money. Money is a good servant, but a bad master! Work should be a blessing not a bane. There is a commission conferred upon on every life. It is incumbent upon all to discover the mission in their commission to live meaningful successful lives. What is my mission in life? What is my life’s work? These are important questions we all must ask!
Your Blue Print For Success that I just produced, was both a confirmation and a consolation that I am on the right path in my life, and need to press on! I like this phrase,
“if you can’t quit your day job, don’t quit your daydream.”
This is powerful! I believe that if we must work for our small boss from 9am-5pm, we should work for our big boss, our (dreams) from 5pm-9pm and never give up on living our purpose! We must live courageously and overcome the dragons worry, doubt, and fear. With the power of God, we can pick up our dreams and plow ahead. Contrary to our current circumstances, we must believe that It’s never too early and never too late to live our dreams and enter our destiny!
Schaun your story really touched my heart and I am sure that it also touches the heart of God. I too lost a brother that I loved very much to drug abuse. My father and I prayed desperately for him for years, but with no avail. When my brother died, I wondered why our years of heartfelt prays were not answered. There are some tragedies in life that only God understands. These tragedies can leave us broken and skeptical about the love of God. I have also been blessed and privilege to witness answers to prayers. I have experienced God’s provision and protection during difficult times. I don’t know why God chooses to answer some prayers immediately and some later. I don’t know why God answer is yes, no, or wait to some prayers. Our finite mind cannot comprehend the mind of the infinite God. I am reminded of this scripture…
“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”
1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV
Schaun I stand with you in a believing prayer of faith for your son. It’s not over until God says it’s over. When we think all is lost and we are at the end ourselves that is when God sometimes chooses to act. I pray that God in his mercy will hear the cry’s of your heart like He heard the cry’s of Hannah and restore your son and family in Jesus mighty name, Amen!
Your Brother In Christ