His mercy endureth forever? After the devastating death of my son James to what we believed was foul play, but the police stated was suicide. I could not see, feel or find the mercy of God! Within weeks of James death two boys in his high school committed suicide. The community was in shock and we wondered where is God and why did He allow this great evil to happen to our family and to our community? Again, the mercy of God was not in sight, only pain, deep sorrow, confusion, and hopelessness. A year later my older brother died after fighting a thirty years battle with drug abuse. A year after that my Grandmother died. A short time after that, my aunt died. The goodness of God and the mercy of God were by this point thrown out the window of my life. At least that was I thought. If this was God’s “mercy” I wanted nothing to do with this God. I had no joy and I felt no mercy, only rage and pain. I saw no light, only dark clouds and raining days.
To treat and to ease the sting of death I turned to worldly pleasures. Needless to say worldly pleasure are mere bandages on a patient that needs a heart transplant. The pain was still there, crushing my heart with each passing day like an elephant crushing the flower beneath its massive foot. However joy was nowhere to be found, misery and anger and anguish were my constant companions. I was traveling on the wide road of despair with no hope of any specific destination and no elixir to lighten my burdensome load.
With the passing of time, the dark clouds of my life begin to slowly break. I observed the patience and the protection of God during those times when I was in darkness. I discovered that even when I denied Him with my thoughts and actions, He (God) cannot deny himself, but remains faithful still. I discovered that God does not deal with us, as He should but rather as a loving father deals with his children. God disciplines and teaches as hard lesson of life and He uses our lives for his divine purposes. Lastly I discovered that after the rain comes the rainbow, and that his mercy endures forever! I discovered that pain and sorrow might endure through the night, but Joy cometh in the morning!